tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-24640801369200582782024-03-12T22:18:09.251-07:00You Rebel ScumKaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.comBlogger232125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464080136920058278.post-45806753276569222902013-06-20T11:30:00.001-07:002013-06-20T11:30:43.899-07:00Where I blog again after another Forever of not blogging.I'm bad at maintaining. I don't know why. I think it's another one of those classes everyone else seems to have gone to that I inexplicably missed, like how to do hair and how to understand what being graded on a curve means.<div><br></div><div>It's very frustrating for me, and I think it makes me look like an entitled sissy who's always had everything done for her so she never had to learn how. Maybe I am that. I'm the youngest of 10, so it wouldn't be a totally wild guess. But I don't feel that it's entirely accurate. I know how to do things. I can take care of myself, kinda, and I can stand up for myself (or at least I'm learning to.) Okay, so maybe it is entirely accurate.</div><div><br></div><div>What I mean by all this is my fridge is always empty, or near enough to it. I worry about spending too much money on food (on EVERYTHING), and so when I do fill it up it just slowly gets empty again. And we have nothing fun or interesting to eat, and come dinner time I stare dumbly into the vast fridgey cavern and have no clue what to do so my family won't starve. And the thought of having to grocery shop and KEEP GROCERY SHOPPING FOREVER makes me very, very stressed. The same thought applies to showering, and other things that have to be done, by nature, repeatedly.</div><div><br></div><div>Do they have a class for this? Like, at a college? That I can take? Someone sign me up, because I probably couldn't ever get around to doing it myself. Help!</div>Kaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464080136920058278.post-50684047727590877592013-02-27T12:15:00.001-08:002013-02-27T12:28:38.958-08:00Possible serendipitousness<span contenteditable='false'><img id='id_f632_2713_23c2_39d7' src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-fjcXsBnzpQg/US5pUWSpIlI/AAAAAAAACg4/8CVrqE3t0H4/%25255BUNSET%25255D.jpg' alt='' title='' width='400' height='' style='float:left;display:block;margin:5px'/></span>We stopped by Savers yesterday, as one does, to peruse the riff-raff and see if there was anything we needed to take home. Upon entering I forced myself past the book section, knowing that the time it would take to properly assess the shelves would be too much for baby patience. So we went straight to accessories, because I knew without doubt I would be able to find a braided belt like I'd been wanting. And of course we stopped by housewares to quickly browse the sheets, because one almost always finds a pretty sheet there (and one definitely always has use for more of those at home. You know, fort-building and such.) And then we had to pass by the books again, but by then James had a belt to chew on so I thought heck, might as well<i>.</i>I decided to rope myself down tothe shelves labeled Literature (isn't it all?) because there are some classic-lit-type books I've been wanting but haven't been able to find at the libraries. As I started scanning the spines I had the distinct feeling that the book I was looking for was there. A premonitiony feeling, if you will. A twinge of excitement purred across my brain as I continued to scan. Still, I am doubtful about such feelings and didn't really expect to find it, that one book in all the universe, nestled in there with all the rest.<div><br/></div><div>Yet lo, and behold, there on the third shelf down way on the right hand side, she lay. Granted, it's not the exact one I wanted - I'd have preferred to find the version translated by Tolkien - but who really complains when the universe bends realistic expectations for you in the first place? And now I get to chase my<a href='http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/b00mjlxv'>Merlin</a>binge with some anonymous Arthurian prose about chivalry and such, deliciously punctuated by the mental images of<a href='http://merlin.wikia.com/wiki/Arthur_Pendragon'>Bradley James</a>and<a href='http://merlin.wikia.com/wiki/File:Gwaine_Eoin_Macken.jpg'>Eoin Macken</a>. No complaints here.</div><div><br/></div><div>Is that serendipity? I can never keep the definition of that word in my head.</div>Kaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464080136920058278.post-8846874205739526502013-02-23T21:21:00.001-08:002013-02-23T21:25:19.756-08:00On inner beauty and frugal wall artSometimes I feel like I never learned how to be a real girl. My beauty routines and decisions are all guesswork, which is kind of exhausting. I've been watching YouTube hair tutorials (don't judge) trying to figure out what I do wrong when curling my hair, and apart from a few useful tips and a lot of self-deprecating introspection, what I've come way with is the powerful feeling that all girls are beautiful. I would never put a video of my mirror face out there because I am not that confident. But the mom and the woman in me wants all the other girls to do it so they can see how lovely and perfect they are, just being so different and themselves and wonderful. And I want everyone to redo high school with new confidence so maybe we can all have a better time there.<div><br/></div><div>This post is brought to you by someone who is having a bad hair day and needed a pep talk.</div><div><br/></div><div>And also I wanted to show you this. I got the idea from<a href='http://www.natthefatrat.com/'>Nat the Fat Rat</a>(I swear I read other blogs too). I think hers are metal. Mine are cardboard spray painted with shiny metal looking paint, and I kind of love them for it. I have them above my couch on a wall with lots of glaring negative space. Someday my house will be completely decorated. And then we'll move.</div><div><br/></div><div><span contenteditable='false'><img id='id_350f_bb88_7c26_938b' src='https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/-bktY-Bd_ajw/USmjcxdL9NI/AAAAAAAACgo/ZgZ6fck5t2w/%25255BUNSET%25255D.jpg' alt='' title='' width='400' height='' style='float:left;display:block;margin:5px'/></span></div>Kaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464080136920058278.post-56968115163378217442013-02-21T13:53:00.001-08:002013-02-21T13:57:46.294-08:00The butt-end of winterSo I'm trying out a new iPad app for blogging, and it ate an entry I just wrote so we're trying this again. It's just as we'll the post got eaten, because it was really whiny and I'm sure I would have regretted it had it actually been published. As it is, my more rational self has emerged. You're welcome.<div><br/></div><div>I was whining about being sick of winter, because I am. Sick of it. We got through January which I think most can agree is The Worst, but February has its own shortcomings. Namely the mud, and the cruel way it teases one about spring only to throw snow around for a few more weeks. But it can't last forever, so that's what I'm holding onto.</div><div><br/></div><div>I was also whining about being stuck inside with two kids who have naps perfectly aligned so as to never be awake at the same time. Which in many ways is a blessing, but it also limits our goings out. And we have cabin fever, you know. So today we're doing some water play to distract us.</div><div><br/></div><div><span contenteditable='false'><img style='float:left;display:block;margin:5px' height='' width='400' title='' alt='' src='https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/-inn3U4qg_3I/USaXaGtItRI/AAAAAAAACgY/s3H7B0ZPl2E/%25255BUNSET%25255D.jpg' id='id_af57_eddf_3820_5da2'/></span></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div>James was interested for about 5 minutes before remembering he's trying to solve the puzzle of how to open the gate so he can fall down the stairs.</div><div><div><span contenteditable='false'><img style='float: left; display: block; margin: 5px; ' height='400' width='400' title='' alt='' src='https://lh5.googleusercontent.com/-G1KbgM-iY9w/USaXX6fn-EI/AAAAAAAACgQ/fek7TN4eacM/%25255BUNSET%25255D.jpg' id='id_a1c2_ebbf_4693_712b'/></span></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div><div><br/></div>
Lauren however is much more into it. Washing plastic giraffes with purple water must speak to her.<div><br/></div><div>So anyway, that's what we're doing. Now if this post doesn't get eaten, I may start blogging a little more. I've now officially missed another of James' monthly photoshoots, because I'm really good at not doing those.</div></div>Kaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464080136920058278.post-74472714536261628542012-12-24T06:59:00.000-08:002012-12-24T06:59:21.555-08:008 stinkin months alreadyRight now James is screaming in his crib, overtired and furious about it. Screaming is his new favorite thing. Really loud, all of a sudden, with his body all tensed up. It's not all angry screaming; usually it's just for fun. (Mom and dad do not think it's fun.)<br />
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Anyway, I'm hoping he'll give up and sleep soon, but it's more likely that I'll give up and go snuggle him to sleep. In an effort to hold out, I'm distracting myself with this post. Here are some pictures of a grumpy and hungry and - I think - teething, but still sweet and loved 8 month old.<br />
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(Dad popped in to say hi for a second.)<br />
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This face makes me laugh.<br />
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It's getting really difficult to take these full-body shots now. He's just too big.<br />
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I almost didn't include this picture, but I loved how the camera focused just on his two little teeth.<br />
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He's crawling now! And these last two shots make me smile. I was trying to be cute and get both of us, but he wanted to eat my face.<br />
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We are so excited for our first Christmas with Jamesy Boy - the space under our tree is literally packed with presents from grandparents, which if it's any indication of how future years will be makes me a little concerned about how I'm going to teach the true meaning of Christmas, but I guess for this year it's okay to go crazy. <br />
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As I mentioned above, James started crawling just a few days ago. My pride knows no bounds. He's been getting up on his hands and knees since forever it seems like, and trying and trying to figure out how to move on them, and he finally figured it out and it's just the coolest. I love watching him try to coordinate his limbs and scramble forward. It's not what I would call graceful - he kindof looks like a drunk or injured spider - but it is adorable.<br />
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Well, I know for sure that I won't do any special blogging for Christmas, so I'll just wish y'all a merry one right now. Do not skimp on the cookies and such.<br />
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Edited to add: I gave up, and James spent a peaceful night in the prime real estate of our bed. Merry Christmas, little buddy. Kaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464080136920058278.post-30325322531836033062012-12-11T10:26:00.000-08:002012-12-11T10:26:05.830-08:00The Life BluesI'm sitting here at work, next to the big window-doors leading onto the back balcony and everything's covered in snow. Both my babies are sleeping (even though the bigger one can hardly be called a baby anymore.) Kung Fu Panda 2 is playing in the background and I don't know why I haven't turned it off already. I've been a little depressed. I don't know why. Probably it's a combination of things: lack of sleep, the setting in of Winter, postpartum hormones. Actually my period just came back today for the first time in over a year without any warning, so I suspect that has something to do with it. (So no, mom, I'm not pregnant again!)<br />
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I've danced with depression before and this hasn't been too bad, compared to other depressions. I'm sure none of my depressions have been too bad compared to some other people's. But I've been taking it slow, trying not to worry it too much. Trying to coax it softly to see what it's all about. I'm not usually a high-energy person anyway, and lately I'm even less so. That part I can confidently attribute to lack of sleep. All I want to do is curl up in blankets and watch all kinds of movies and eat things that aren't good for me. Like cookies? Hello. Being at work is hard, even though it seems like it shouldn't be. I do get to be in a comfortable house all day; I don't have to be on my feet or be in front of a desk doing not-fun computer things, like some of you. But it's not <i>my</i> home. It's not<i> </i>my food or my couch or my smells. It's not James' crib or his toys. It's not our neighborhood and our backyard. I so envy you stay-at-home-moms. Even though I know staying at home would come with it's own set of monotony and things to complain about, I can't help but want it. <br />
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Wishing for what you don't currently have is such a trap, isn't it? Right now I also wish it were Summer; that we could go outside and be warm, and take ourselves to the park and stretch out on blankets in the shade in balmy blissfulness. That sounds nice. But it's easy to forget that Summer actually gets really, really hot, and while stretching out in the shade is nice, it can be so tiring loading everything and everyone into the car, and waiting for the A/C to get going. And heavy, squirmy babies get even heavier and squirmier when you're already hot and sweaty and want to strip off all your clothes and jump into any and all bodies of water you pass, including the gutters full of sprinkler water right in front of your neighbors. (I haven't done this, and I probably won't. Don't worry.)<br />
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So I'm trying to practice being grateful for what I have, right here, right now. Even though it's hard. Even though the depressed, weepy, sullen side of me wants to take James and go home and sit in the warm bathtub and cry and feed myself a whole batch of my mom's amazing gingersnaps until I bloat and fall asleep. Fortunately I have a moderately healthy awareness of societal norms to prevent me from doing that, but still. <br />
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Instead, soon I'll hear my sweet boy crying for me when he wakes up from his nap in the pack-and-play in the basement, and I'll go save him from the torture of involuntarily trying to crawl in his sleep. And I'll kiss his sweet squishy face and hold his sweet squishy hands and brush his crazy hair out of his eyes. And with him in my arms it will be easier to remember why it's just too ridiculous to be unhappy.Kaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464080136920058278.post-1135152196550774522012-12-04T20:57:00.001-08:002012-12-04T20:57:52.744-08:007 months!!!<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Bonus shot<span style="font-size: x-small;"> - mechanic hands!</span></span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">Well finally - FINALLY - my computer's wi-fi worked long enough for me to upload these dang things. I've been trying since forever when James actually turned 7 months old. Can we take a moment to shake our heads at newfangled technology that will just never ever work right uphill both ways in the snow all year long? And how. </span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">But it's neither here nor there since uploaded they are and God is good and let's move on and talk about my baby.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
<span style="font-size: small;">This month James Wade is just a bigger, shaggier, louder, stronger, rounder, more mobile version of his younger selves. He still looks like the Stay-Puft Marshmallow Man and he still likes to eat his feet (just from a different angle). He still holds my hands when he breastfeeds/cuddles/pretty much anything else. In his short 7 1/2 months of life he already knows that fingers make the best teething toys, shoes are the best distraction in the world (unless it's sacrament meeting and then up is down and the universe doesn't play by normal rules), and family spitting parties first thing in the morning when we're all still in bed are the like the bee's knees, only far more exciting. Seriously, you haven't lived until you've experienced an early morning family spitting party. James can teach you how to do it: with your tongue out, it's the only way.</span><br />
<span style="font-size: small;"><br /></span>
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--></style><span style="font-size: small;">James Wade enjoys: rolling ALL over the living room floor, holding his breath until he squeaks, having his feet and armpits tickled, cheerios, laying down during baths and kicking his feet so mom gets all wet, smiling at whoever sits behind us in church, crying when there's too many people around, crying when anyone wearing a hat or a beard are around, and getting himself into all manner of strange positions during naps.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">James Wade hates: putting his arms into sleeves, not being allowed to chew
on diapers, not being allowed to chew on highchair strap buckles during lunch,
being cold after baths, having to fall asleep by himself about every 3rd nap,
and hitting his head on hard things.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">He usually sleeps through the night right after I say he doesn't, and stops
right after I say he does. He thinks mom is WAY funnier than dad
(citation needed). He has two whole teeth. He eats all manner of
fruits and vegetables, and his first Thanksgiving was a success because he and
Mashed Potatoes met and are friends. He can make your heart melt right
out of your chest if he falls asleep on you, and I recommend letting him suck
on your face when the mood strikes him because the window of it being cute and
not creepy for someone to suck on your face is extremely narrow.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">As for me, I'm getting much better at not crying when he outgrows a clothing
size, or when I look at his newborn pictures. Actually, his newborn
pictures are even sweeter now that I know something of his personality.
Being a mom feels like slowly opening a really fantastic present - so slow that
I still don't know what it all is yet. It's also a little like being in a
horror movie, because of all the fear and worrying I have to force myself to
not indulge. I mean, you don't realize how thin a barrier bedroom walls
are between the safety of your home and the evilness of the outside world until
your most precious thing is sleeping all the way in the next room. I
mean, I <i>know</i> the whole world isn't evil and that it's just a mom thing
to worry, but I've never felt so very vulnerable before. Being a mom is
the very definition of taking the bad with the good.</span><br />
<br />
<span style="font-size: small;">So anyway. That's the boy this month. I apologize for not being
a better blogger and actually writing more posts. I actually think of
things that I want to write about all the time, but it always seems that when I
do have a moment there's always something else I'd rather do instead, even if it's
just be on the couch and do nothing. Can I get an amen for doing
nothing! I'm still planning a blog design overhaul (Rachael, I'm a bad
client) and my hope is that maybe a well-designed space will make me want to
use it more. It's a nice theory, anyway.</span><span style="font-family: Cambria; font-size: 12.0pt; mso-ansi-language: EN-US; mso-ascii-theme-font: minor-latin; mso-bidi-font-family: "Times New Roman"; mso-bidi-language: AR-SA; mso-bidi-theme-font: minor-bidi; mso-fareast-font-family: "MS 明朝"; mso-fareast-language: EN-US; mso-fareast-theme-font: minor-fareast; mso-hansi-theme-font: minor-latin;"></span>
Kaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464080136920058278.post-84995903264403432802012-11-18T11:08:00.001-08:002012-11-18T11:08:45.545-08:00Important! Something cute.ATTENTION EVERYONE.<br />
<br />
We went the mall yesterday, my little dude and I, to buy some warmer shoes for his feet. Instead, the shoe place wasn't there anymore and we spent 3 hours walking around not really finding anything to buy. Okay, we found lots of things to buy but actually bought very few of them. And normally my mall trips don't last 3 hours but in my defense James fell asleep halfway through and it would have just been downright mean of me to wake him up to put him in the car, right? Anyway, we were dog tired after all that. But before we got tired, James got a new hat.<br />
<br />
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<br />
And now you know what I wanted to tell you.Kaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464080136920058278.post-53030396356423199512012-11-09T08:14:00.000-08:002012-11-09T10:27:20.500-08:00An open letter to people with short-term memoriesDear residents of Utah,<br />
<br />
It's that time of year again. You know - the scary time. The time when up is down and left and right and nothing makes sense anymore.<br />
<br />
You know what I'm talking about. The time when it starts to snow again. <br />
<br />
As a resident of Utah myself, I want you to know that I understand you. Your fears are valid, and I want you to know that I'm there for you. I know how frightening it can be to deal with something you've dealt with before; even many, many times before. Even every single year that you've lived in Utah. I know how the blissful heat of summer can seem to stretch on forever and ever into Eternity, and make it seem like it <i>never</i> snows here, like snow is just a long-forgotten horror that exists only in our grandparents' nightmares. Even though Salt Lake City, where you probably live, is at an elevation of over 4000 feet and is the gateway to numerous renowned ski resorts and has earned the reputation "Greatest Snow on Earth." I'm here to remind you today that despite all that, it does, in fact, snow here. Please, remember to breathe. It's going to be okay.<br />
<br />
To help you manage this confusing time, here are a few reminders about how to handle the <strike>Evil</strike> snow:<br />
<br />
<b>1. Wear More Clothes</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
Snow is cold. Winter is cold. You may have heard the phrase "bundle up"; I implore you to do so, for your own protection. Because if you complain about being cold in a t-shirt and jeans, someone is going to beat you up.<br />
<br />
<b>2. Drive Slower (and turn your galdurned lights on)</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
Don't you just love car accidents? The smell of broken glass in your eyeballs; the big fat stacks of money waving you goodbye; recklessly endangering the lives of innocent people... Wait, you don't love that? Then why in the HOLY NAME OF HAN SOLO would you not think to slow down and drive more carefully? Also, if it is currently overcast and snowing/raining, turn your headlights on. Yes, even if it's 2:00 in the afternoon, because contrary to popular stupid opinion, the use of headlights is not time-restricted; it is condition-based. Nothing bad will come of making yourself more visible to other people in inclement weather, unless you consider "being safe" bad. In which case, go to jail, right now.<br />
<br />
<b>3. Drink Hot Chocolate</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
Hot chocolate is extremely comforting and warms you from the inside, so it should be your best friend in times like these.<br />
<br />
<b>4. Have Fun!</b><br />
<b><br /></b>
One way to get rid of fears is to face them - so get out there in that snow! Run around in it; it probably won't hurt you, and you might even have some fun. Are you a scientist? Then observe the snow; experiment with it. Try moving through it in different ways, and observe how the physics of objects in snow differ from that of objects on dry ground. You may learn something! Believe it or not, but entire industries are made from people having fun in the snow. And very large groups of people are never wrong. So be brave. Embrace your terror and turn that frown upside down.<br />
<br />
I hope this mini-guide has been helpful. I have only your best interests at heart. And on that note, maybe you could print this out and keep it around for next year when Winter inevitably rolls around once more, and then maybe we won't have to go through all this again.<br />
<br />
Have a super snow-filled day!Kaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.com4tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464080136920058278.post-39977892101416238092012-11-05T20:21:00.002-08:002012-11-05T20:21:52.489-08:00Fish Lake, UtahWe have a group of friends that come over on Sundays to play nerdy DnD-type games with us, and one of those friends has a family that has a cabin. And this weekend all those things converged, and we like that.<br />
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So we drove down to central Utah to have an Epic Weekend of Nerdiness in a beautiful ol' rustic cabin in the woods.<br />
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Rollin' my dice and feedin' my baby. Like I do.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">The view from the front porch.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Jessica helping me get James strapped in for our woodland walk.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">(Jesse, Spencer, and Nate in the background, with Tony behind the camera, makes for the whole group.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">At Penny Rock, with Spencer's excellent hiking attire.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Pardon my crazy face, but James was cute and snuggly in his carrier that he's way too big for now.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">We love Spencer. I wish I could remember what he was expounding on. Probably the qualities of an excellent skipping stone.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">My handsome boys.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Jesse teaching James about Lamb's Ear. (It's delicious.)</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">"That's right, rock. You better skip, and skip some more." Or something.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">James learned he likes beards.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Seriously, we love Spencer. </span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">I don't feel this picture needs an explanation.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Jessica cooked for us the whole weekend, because she's awesome. Cheesecake pancakes, people.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">View from the loft.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Nerds.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;">Maya, oozing uncomfortableness at having to stand this close to the camera.</span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">Of course,
more pictures of the little guy. James got his first tooth this weekend
- or at least that's when I first noticed it, but I've been feeling
pretty regularly so it probably poked through while we were there. I'm
irrationally proud of him and that tooth.</span></span></div>
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<span style="font-size: x-small;"><span style="font-size: small;">And
I know the camera settings for all of these pictures are out of whack.
I wasn't too worried about getting things just right, but it is
frustrating to know in retrospect what I should have done differently.
But I guess that's what learning is about.</span></span></div>
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<div style="text-align: center;">
<span style="font-size: x-small;">My family. Heart.</span></div>
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<br />Kaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464080136920058278.post-469149167253068032012-11-05T19:21:00.000-08:002012-11-05T19:21:25.953-08:00Halloween, for real this timeI forgot to post these before the weekend, so here they are now. Pictures from trick-or-treating on the actual holiday.<br />
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Tony and I both laughed when we saw this picture. It's hard to look happy sometimes, I guess.<br />
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Maya was uncontrollably excited to finally be going for a walk (what gives, we are terrible dog-walkers), but she's afraid of the camera so it's almost impossible to get a picture of her face.<br />
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The boy was more tired than he'd ever been in his life, I think. And trick-or-treating was kinda fun, but it ended up being a difficult night. We passed a yappy dog yard and it really scared James, and the whole rest of the night (and for several days after) he would get startled and cry at even the slightest of sounds. Needless to say, he's been sleeping in our room a lot lately.<br />
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And yes, Tony and I were Hallo-grinches and did not dress up. That was way too much work. Although I am disappointed that I never took a picture in my pirate costume with James sitting on my shoulder.Kaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464080136920058278.post-49254170815274907372012-10-30T21:13:00.000-07:002012-10-30T21:17:43.820-07:00First HalloweenLike I mentioned in my last post, James has started noticing his hands. After taking his 6 month pictures I had him lying on the bed still and he started doing it, and I managed to get a few shots. Yay! This completely steals my heart.<br />
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He caught me.<br />
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(My bedroom is definitely in WIP mode. It drives me nuts, but home improvement is hard.)<br />
Here are some pictures of James' halloween costume. He is a parrot. I made it myself, using <a href="http://www.themomcreative.com/2012/09/no-sew-owl-costume-tutorial.html" target="_blank">this </a>tutorial as a starting point. It's not perfect and was done in a rush because I'm a huge procrastinator, but I feel pretty good about how it turned out.<br />
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Taken by my mom's iphone because we were at her house.<br />
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And here we are together at the stake halloween party. I was a pirate because OF COURSE I WAS A PIRATE. I just can't knock the habit.<br />
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He must have really been channeling his inner parrot because he made squawking noises all night. Of course he had ripped off and tried to eat a few of the feathers before we even made it to the party. I guess he needed to molt. <br />
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And I forgot what else I was going to say. It's been one of those days.Kaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464080136920058278.post-53071644582749442402012-10-29T13:22:00.001-07:002012-10-29T19:40:58.660-07:006 months old My baby is 6 months old. These pictures make me want to cry, and brush the hair out of his eyes.<br />
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I got him to smile in this picture by making the "bleh" throw-up sound, which he loves for some reason.<br />
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I love these next few. He's got his business face and his party legs.<br />
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I can't tell you how many times I've seen Tony make this exact same face (next picture). <br />
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"Mom, I need the camera."<br />
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"Fine. I'll just lay here with my feet and look like daddy."<br />
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Pictures of him these days capture his quiet, inquisitive side that's coming out more and more, but what they don't capture is the constant wiggles and the gleeful squealing and the regular squealing and the silliness. Trust me though, it's all there.<br />
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And now, to you my boy.<br />
<br />
The word of the day is BIG. You are just big. You are tall and round and heavy and the bright spot of the universe. You weigh 21 dang pounds and wear 12-dang-month-sized clothing with ease. I honestly think I've pulled something in my shoulder from carrying you around.<br />
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You are sweet and sure of yourself. We haven't had any episodes of stranger danger yet, although a few times you've been disconcerted by a crowd. Chances are you are a comfortable-in-small-groups person like me and dad. Usually though, you just smile at everyone, new and familiar. <br />
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*You're officially sleeping in your crib at night now, sometimes all night long and sometimes back in our bed by morning. I don't feel the need to rigidly sleep train you yet, if ever. I have the feeling we'll figure things out our way.<br />
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I don't mind getting up at night when you cry. Usually when I enter your room I can see you smiling at me from the dark. You're figuring out the sleep thing; you've never needed to be swaddled, and you're needing less and less me to position you just the right way. <br />
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When we lay down for naptimes you wear yourself out by kicking and looking around. You play with my hands and touch my face and look out the windows or at the ceiling fan, and then when you're ready to sleep you roll to face me still gripping my fingers.<br />
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In fact, you <i>love</i> holding my hands. When we're nursing you're not settled until your free hand finds my fingers.<br />
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You also love your own hands. Lately you sometimes stop whatever you're doing and just inspect them, turning them over and slowly wiggling your fingers. It is exactly precious.<br />
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The other word of the day is rolling. You are very good at it. You roll to your stomach and push up with your hands. Sometimes you stick your butt up in the air and smoosh your face into the floor. I think before long you'll be crawling, which is completely ridiculous and you should stop it right now.<br />
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Last week you were sick for the first time, and it was <i>hard</i>. I hated it. You were restless and your nose ran and you coughed and you had a fever and you cried. But while that was hard, it was also another reminder to be grateful to be dealing with only a cold. So many other families have to deal with much, much worse.<br />
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We've started you on some solid foods now, and you've seemed to like just about everything we've tried so far. Rice cereal and oatmeal, bananas, apples, pears. Prunes, because you NEVER EVER POOP. (Edit: I retract this statement, definitely.) Grandma even gave you cheerios. This new 'big kid food' phase scares me because it means you're growing up, and I'm sad. But at the same time, I'm excited and happy for you. Motherhood is very confusing.<br />
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* I wrote this post on the 18th and didn't get the pictures taken until yesterday, and in that 10 day difference almost everything I said about never sleep training you have been voided. Suddenly you were waking up crying multiple times a night and just would not stay asleep. So we tried bringing you back in bed with us most of the night where you still never really settled down and so I would get no sleep. And after just a few nights of that I sent Tony a text that said: "We're going to sleep train James." <br />
And James is a perfect child. Because I had decided to do a cry-it-out-with-checks version of sleep training and was prepared for some difficult nights of non-stop screaming, and instead it's like 2 days later and you're putting yourself to sleep in your crib (for nights AND naps) like a seasoned pro. You're in bed by 6:30 and wake up at 3 to eat, and then sleep again until 6 when we have to wake up for work. PERFECT. I love you. Please don't change again.Kaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464080136920058278.post-61467096307910136562012-10-17T14:36:00.001-07:002012-10-17T14:36:24.849-07:00All-or-nothing bullhonkeyI've been feeling lately like our culture has this ridiculous<i> </i>all-or-nothing trend, and I don't like it. Do you know what I'm talking about? If you can't do, or have, or be something all the way, then don't even try. Like, if you already know that you can't or won't commit to eating a 100% healthy diet, then resign yourself to eating nothing but junk food. Isn't that ridiculous? If you know you're not going to be a marathon runner, then don't bother even going for a jog now and again. These are all coming out health and fitness, but I'm sure there are other examples you can think of. <br />
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I refute this all-or-nothing notion. I think it's silly. You don't have to eat nothing but kale and flax and other healthy-sounding foods (spEE-nok!) all day every day. But if you remember to eat it sometimes then you're that much healthier than you were before. Keep your midnight bowls of ice cream, just have an avocado too. Then maybe eventually you'll do it more and more.<br />
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I'm sure this is not a revolutionary idea, but it's been stuck in my brain the last few weeks.<br />
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I am not what experts would probably consider a "really healthy person". I mean, I'm not obese or sickly, but I'm not fit in any sense. The most exercise i usually give myself is going up and down stairs to do laundry a few times a day. (Plus the wiggly 20-pound free weight I carry to and from the car.) But lately I've been trying to be healthier; to <i>think </i>healthier, if you will. Just small things. I'm focusing on eating more fruits and vegetables - not necessarily trying to eliminate the crappy things I eat, but by focusing on the healthier foods I end up eliminating some of the less-healthy stuff anyway. And a new friend is inviting me to go to Jazzercise at the community center once a week with her. Yes, Jazzercise. Yes, I've thought about wearing neon legwarmers. It's fun, and it gets me moving, and I like it. <br />
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And that's my rant. The end.<br />
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<br />Kaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464080136920058278.post-61970001267338495922012-09-30T20:36:00.002-07:002012-09-30T20:38:37.231-07:00Things that make you go awwSo I'm folding the laundry the other day, James is keeping me company on the bed and I get to the socks just as Tony comes in, and all his socks are inside out like usual, and I'm tired so I say, "If you want your socks right-side-out you're going to have to do it yourself, cause I just don't have it in me today," and he says "That's okay, you know you don't have to do that anyway," to which I reply "But it makes it easier when they're all paired and folded and right-side-out so you don't have to do that in the morning," and he says "I know, but it's not that big a deal, you don't have to do it," and I say "But I'm trying to make your life better!" And then he says, "You already did, he's right there," and points to James happily grabbing his feet on the bed.<br />
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And then I melted and died of happiness.<br />
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<br />Kaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464080136920058278.post-40105650240872667922012-09-28T19:28:00.002-07:002012-09-30T20:38:53.675-07:00My husband, my loveIn case you were wondering about the level of wonderfulness my husband is, let me just tell you this: it's at least level 50.<br />
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He made me a grilled cheese sandwhich (yes, spellchecker, I know it's sandwich, I've made that mistake too many times to not know that), complete with tomato soup, and it's 8 p.m. and he even cut it into triangles when I asked him to.<br />
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And tonight I said "let's watch Arrested Development" and he said <i><b>okay</b></i>, only it was actually more like this:<br />
<br />
"A or B?"<br />
<br />
<i><b>what, just choose between a or b?</b></i><br />
<br />
"Yes"<br />
<br />
<i><b>b</b></i><br />
<br />
"Okay"<br />
<br />
<i><b>what's b?</b></i><br />
<br />
"Arrested Development"<br />
<br />
<i><b>what was a?</b></i><br />
<br />
"The Office"<br />
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So that's one more reason I love him. <br />
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On an unrelated note, I am so uninspired by the design (lack thereof) of this blog, that I'm considering seeking out someone else to redesign it for me. If you are a person who feels as though that sentence would apply to them, I beg you to offer me your services, only not in a creepy way like I just made it sound.<br />
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<i><b>eat your food!</b></i><br />
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"Alright!"<i><b> </b></i> Kaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464080136920058278.post-64415453290290595512012-09-15T14:50:00.004-07:002012-09-15T14:55:12.800-07:00James at 4/5 monthsNot four-fifths. You know what I mean.<br />
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For the record, I'm a little sad at these. Partly because the lighting in my room - where I've been taking all these - hasn't been good lately, which is honestly part of the reason why I had been putting off the 4 month photoshoot. I think it's the position of the sun changing? Or it's in my head, in which case I must have a really powerful head because I took these at the same time of day I'd been taking the other ones, and it's not overcast or anything, and these pictures are all dark dark dark. And blurry. SO FRUSTRATED WITH THE BLURRINESS. Is it my lens, or is it me? Hennyway. The other reason I'm less than thrilled about this installment is because neither of us were really in the mood. We were being silly and haphazard and particularly unprofessional. Whatevs, we got them done and I still think he's cute. So now let me introduce you to my son at 5 months old.<br />
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In this household we are entering the Age of the Feet because James found out he has them. <br />
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They are remarkably satisfying to grab.<br />
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We are also continuing in the Age of the Chubby. Poor guy wears the same shorts almost every day because all the pants I've been buying him are just too tight. We're talking 9-month size! We usually shop at Carter's because I always thought their clothes were cute, but I'm finding out they're made for the skinny kids, which this kid is not. So if anyone knows of a chub-friendly clothing line, do let us know.<br />
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James is also a happy boy, who is discovering more and more every day about how much fun giggling is. <br />
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(Maybe some other photographer would move her boppy out of the background, but not this one. Actually, I kind of like seeing bits and pieces of our regular life sneaking in; things I want to remember.)<br />
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(He was just about to sneeze.)<br />
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I don't know what he's doing here...<br />
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...or here, but he kept doing it. Practicing his baby seal impression?<br />
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I consider this a definite outtake, but I just love that expression of unabashed joy.<br />
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These last two are my favorites from the whole set. I think our new old duvet cover helps.<br />
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Sweet baby James makes our days shine. I feel like a lucky girl, getting to spend my days with this boy and his daddy. Before he was born, I was worried about how our life would change. I was worried that I'd hate the change, that I'd hate the binkies everywhere, the baby smell, the constant caretaking, etc. But I can say without hesitation that I've loved every minute of it. Granted, I do have an easy baby and a good setup, so maybe it's no big deal that I love it. But I feel that even if things changed and suddenly got really hard, I'd still love it. I love every second of him.<br />
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My only complaint is that he grows too fast! Some days I look at his face and I hardly recognize him. I have to remind myself that he is an evolving person and not to get too comfortable with any one stage because it's all temporary. I have to remind myself that James (and all of us, really) is not any one moment, but a never-ending collection of moments. It's easy to assume things are what we see in a snapshot, but people are not that. We move and grow and change. My baby is not a baby, he's an eternal soul who happens to be in baby form right now. It's hard for me to want to grasp the concept sometimes. It's easy to want to make things hold still. <br />
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But we all just keep shufflin'. <br />
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<i>Here's <a href="http://yourebelscum.blogspot.com/2012/09/james-at-1-month.html">one</a>, <a href="http://yourebelscum.blogspot.com/2012/09/james-at-2-months.html">two</a>, and <a href="http://yourebelscum.blogspot.com/2012/09/james-at-3-12-months.html">three</a>.</i>Kaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464080136920058278.post-32747194491679727792012-09-13T10:57:00.001-07:002012-09-13T10:58:11.965-07:00This one feels like a lazy oneJames and I are hanging out on my bed, folding towels. He was helping.<br />
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And have I taken those 4 month pictures yet? NO of course not. In five days he'll officially be 5 months old, so...I guess that's that.<br />
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I've had this whole week off of work, even. And what I've discovered is that my productive days vs my lazy days are a ratio of about 1:1. What I've also learned is that I would so love to be a stay at home mom. I mean, yesterday we found ourselves killing time waiting for the fabric store to open by walking to a little mexican restaurant we'd seen but never stopped at, where the owner lady let us in before they opened and made me horchata and chips & salsa and offered me no less than 3 employment opportunities, where James learned that he liked sucking on tortilla chips and DOES NOT like it when mom takes them away. And before that we tried patroning the international market along the way, but the single and only store clerk was full-on napping. Not just nodding off: he was stretched prone on a bench with his feet on a chair he had to pull over specifically so he could nap. I mean, he's either got nothing figured out, or he's got it all figured out.<br />
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And how can we have adventures like that when we're at work, I ask you?<br />
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And now for something completely different. I've been wondering what you all think about disclosing your children's names on the internet, in your blogs. I've never seen what the big deal is - I can show you their pictures but not tell you their names? - but a lot of people seem to do the nickname thing and so maybe there's a good reason. Or maybe it's just a fad. I don't know. What do you think?<br />
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<br />Kaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464080136920058278.post-25574092178486748612012-09-12T14:16:00.000-07:002012-09-12T14:16:04.233-07:00Dear Shirt<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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<br />
Dear shirt,<br />
<br />
The time has come,<br />
My Friend.<br />
<br />
Though you still contain all the basic properties<br />
of a shirt,<br />
I am not allowed to wear you<br />
outside the house.<br />
Holes where there shouldns't be,<br />
paint, and <br />
expanding foam -<br />
(how does that even happen?)<br />
<br />
We've been through it all,<br />
me and you.<br />
You and I,<br />
we fought the college battles<br />
together,<br />
lucky shirt. <br />
How could I have been expected to walk<br />
<i>all the way</i> from my truck<br />
to class<br />
without you?<br />
<br />
On those brutal days when<br />
every other piece of clothing I owned<br />
made me feel itchy and dead,<br />
you were there.<br />
You, who I could hide behind<br />
proudly,<br />
so everyone knew that I liked<br />
The Doors.<br />
<br />
I bought you at Wal-Mart.<br />
And yet you are<br />
irreplaceable, apparently.<br />
How can it be I can't<br />
find an exact replica of you?<br />
<i>How??</i> <br />
<br />
Anyway.<br />
In your box you'll sit,<br />
in our basement<br />
for a while,<br />
until maybe one day I decide to<br />
make that quilt using old t-shirts<br />
like I see on Pinterest<br />
now and again.<br />
<br />
Til then,<br />
farewell,<br />
<br />
Farewell. <br />
Kaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464080136920058278.post-24328793221597029592012-09-07T22:42:00.001-07:002012-09-15T14:51:52.962-07:00James at 2 monthsHis 2 month pictures are my favorite so far even though most of them turned out slightly blurry. I call them The Many Faces of James Wade. He was so animated and ran through probably every face he knew how to make. I loved seeing his personality show up in pictures.<br />
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This is also when he started to get pretty chubby. <br />
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I know this is just totally pathetic, but sometimes I get so sad that I can't go back in time and hold him again when he was really tiny. Okay, so not <i>sad</i> really; nostalgic, maybe. I'm sure this has been a mother's plight since mother's were invented, but while I'm grateful for each moment I get they're also bittersweet because I only get them once. I'm hoping that, since God is a merciful God, his gift to mothers who are through with this life will be being able to hold our babies when they were babies for as long as we want, any time we want, for eternity and forever. That's the only proper recompense for having to watch them grow up so fast.<br />
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So, there's <a href="http://yourebelscum.blogspot.com/">one</a>, two, and <a href="http://yourebelscum.blogspot.com/2012/09/james-at-3-12-months.html">three</a> months. Tomorrow hopefully I can get his 4 months taken before there is no longer a 4 months to take. Dang babies.Kaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464080136920058278.post-16474181328346321272012-09-07T22:05:00.004-07:002012-09-15T14:52:07.397-07:00James at 1 monthAs promised...this post and the next one will be the missing months in James' photo history.<br />
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Here's my sweet little one month old: <br />
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This was one of his very first genuine smiles.<br />
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This was obviously his father's idea.<br />
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At this stage he was still making lots of ridiculous (and ridiculously cute) baby faces. His eyes were still a little unfocused but he was starting to really notice things, and he was just beginning to smile regularly.<br />
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At one month we returned to work. I could not have asked for an easier baby, and I believe it's his laid-back temperament that allows our situation of me bringing him to work with me, to work. While he does get fussy like all babies, he doesn't need to be held constantly to be happy, and he's so patient while I'm taking care of Lauren. It was much harder for me to adjust to having to divide my attention between him and another baby. Now that he's getting older it's only getting easier; they're even starting to play with each other, which is crazy cute to watch.Kaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464080136920058278.post-10549954498951881122012-09-05T18:07:00.000-07:002012-09-05T18:07:10.886-07:00Nappy napsI love sleeping babies, but not as much as I love that belly hanging out of his shirt.<br />
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P.S. I'm really frustrated that I can't seem to get things truly in focus half the time. Maybe I need to update my glasses prescription.Kaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464080136920058278.post-56911435049096223532012-09-01T17:45:00.000-07:002012-09-01T17:45:15.263-07:00The Zoo!3 posts in one day! And all of them pictures, too. <br />
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So, like I touched on in <a href="http://yourebelscum.blogspot.com/2012/08/a-little-about-james-little-about-why.html">this</a> post a few days ago, I've been feeling pretty sad, heavy, and weighed-down lately thinking about my friend's <a href="http://elainelilyfisher.wordpress.com/">baby</a> (who very sadly passed away last Tuesday), and also this poor sweet thing <a href="http://www.indiegogo.com/SAVEBABYEASTON?c=home">here</a> (<--- warning if you click on that, some of the pictures are hard to look at). I was needed to go do something fun and light with my little family I love so much. Because of my job I have a pass to the zoo that gets all three of us in for free, so Tony suggested we do that. And who can be sad at the zoo?<br />
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This kid doesn't really know that the zoo is anything special yet, so we put him in his animal shirt to see if that would help infuse some zoo-joy into him. (It didn't.) <br />
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When I had the camera I was intent on trying to figure out the manual settings for each photo, but the light kept changing as the sun went in and out of clouds, so pictures kept coming out way too light or too dark like this one.<br />
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This kid also doesn't really know how to feel about hats.<br />
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So I was complaining a couple posts back about how there aren't any pictures of me with James, so I made Tony take the camera for a while so I could get some and now there are hardly any pictures of him with James at the zoo. Sorry honey.<br />
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Also, I look really awkward in pictures anyway. <br />
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James conked out before we even got to the polar bear.<br />
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Some more proof of me messing with camera settings. On the first one it's obviously way over-exposed, so I think I both lowered the ISO and slowed the shutter speed and it turned out much better the second time.<br />
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I know this is way way unfocused, but this is the only picture I could get of this. We caught these giant tortoises at either the beginning or the tail end of an intimate moment. I so wanted to hear that infamous turtle mating sound, but I guess he was shy.<br />
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An elephant's butt. I was too late to capture her epic pee.<br />
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James slept contentedly through all of the good stuff, but we woke him up for the train ride. Someday he'll care about all of this, maybe.<br />
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<br />Kaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464080136920058278.post-60171235205497395392012-09-01T17:13:00.002-07:002012-09-15T14:52:20.726-07:00James at 3 1/2 monthsOkay, so this will be photo-heavy.<br />
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I know I haven't been sharing them here, but since James was born I've been doing little mini monthly photo shoots to track his growth through his first year. I plan on making seperate posts for months 1 and 2 in a bit, but here at least are his 3 months. Well, 3 and a half months, because I'm a slacker and got to them late. He turned 4 months on August 18th and I still haven't taken those pictures. Slacker!<br />
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And just as a note, I am obviously not anywhere close to a professional photographer, but I've always been interested in photography and we have a pretty nice DSLR. I've been using these shoots as an opportunity to try and teach myself how to use the camera better. All the pictures are taken using manual settings. <br />
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This first picture is the only one from the whole shoot where he was smiling (also it's way too dark and slightly out of focus). He wasn't grumpy, he was just more interested in sucking on his hands than smiling for the camera. Whenever I put the camera down he'd give me a big grin.<br />
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Out of focus. It seemed to be in focus on the camera's tiny screen, darnitall.<br />
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Armpit chub!<br />
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This picture makes me laugh out loud. He looks so hard core with his baby gang sign.<br />
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Since I got his feet in frame, I wish I had just shifted to the left a bit and got his knee in there too. <br />
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And in case anyone is interested, no, I definitely don't remember what my camera settings were for each shot.<br />
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I know I have a lot to learn still, but I feel like I'm improving. I know there are a billion websites I could go to that have tutorials and junk like that, but I think I'll learn better if I take my time and slowly figure it all out on my own. At least for a while.Kaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-2464080136920058278.post-38746500262275267132012-09-01T16:32:00.000-07:002012-09-01T16:33:04.872-07:00Teensy picture updateI was uploading some pictures onto the computer when I found these ones I took several weeks ago. Boy was just waking up from a nap and I thought he was extra cute.<br />
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I took this awkward mirror-shot because I feel like there are no pictures of me with my baby.<br />
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And here James is helping daddy lose at Mario.<br />
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The end!Kaylahttp://www.blogger.com/profile/13308150684258902635noreply@blogger.com10