If you, like me, needed something weird and charming before bed, I have this for you.
I don't know what it is, but you're welcome.
Thursday, January 19, 2012
Wednesday, January 18, 2012
27 Weeks
This should've been done on Monday, but, you know.
Because, baby, on Monday, I was 27 weeks pregnant with you. And yes, I watch all the baby shows on TLC when I'm at work.
I think to myself a lot these days, "Self, I like it that we're pregnant." I like it a lot. I tell my dear sweet husband how I think I'm going to miss being pregnant - always with the adendum that there's still 3 months to go and maybe I'll eat those words week 39.
Not that I'm not excited for you to be on the outside of my body, so I can see you and hear you and smell you and wrap you in blankets and snuggle with you, because oh my goodness I am! But I really love this time right now when you are closer to me than you ever will be again, and you are more protected than I will ever be able to make you again. I don't see myself as the Mama Bear type - at least not yet - but there is something satisfying about knowing that anything that happens to you must first happen to me.
So here's a few things I want to remember about 27 weeks:
- You move. You roll and nudge and spasm, but it's never frantic. The energy I feel from you is measured, thoughtful, quiet. Like your dad.
- I love feeling you move.
- You love kicking me in the bladder, but only when it's full.
- You stop moving as soon as someone pays attention to you. I don't even know how you know; all I do is look down to where you are, and you stop. I think you like to be alone. You are also like your dad in this.
- We have the most fun when we get to watch you push against the outside of my tummy, like an alien.
- I have the worst heartburn of my life.
- And back pain.
- I had a dream the other night that I gave birth to you, and you had a gigantic head, but the delivery was so easy. I didn't even push. I know it's not going to be like that, but it was a nice dream.
- But seriously, the dreams! I have the weirdest dreams now.
- I'm worried I'm ruining you for healthy food because all I want is sugar. I try to eat the good stuff too, but I can't stop thinking about glazed donuts.
- Our doctor visits are always smooth and perfect. I impress the midwife very much with my blood pressure, on account of all the approvingly raised eyebrows I get every time she takes it. You are measuring perfectly. I've gained 15 pounds.
- Grandma C got you your first toy: a stuffed giraffe that plays the ABCs, and I held it to my belly and you squirmed a little.
- Lately sometimes the first thing your dad says when he sees me after work is "Hey there prego!" which means I'm looking especially pregnant that day. It feels good to finally be obviously pregnant. No belly rubs from strangers yet, though (thankfully.)
- I just found out that I'm going to have to take more of an unpaid maternity leave than I was expecting, which was stressful. But there hasn't been too much stress otherwise. I'm trying to keep things pretty chill for you.
- Your cousin Ryan was born a few days ago. I hope you guys will be buds.
- I hope you like your room. It's very peaceful in there since we painted it, and sometimes I just stand in the middle of it with the light streaming in from the windows and feel calm and imagine everything ready for you. (The house is so not ready for you yet!)
- Dad and I talk about you all the time. We worry that you won't like us. We think it will be weird to have someone call us Mom and Dad, eventually. We know it will be stressful and exhausting having a baby waking us up all night, but I don't think we think about it too much because we know it will be unlike anything we expect anyway.
- We bought our first pack of diapers last week. Those bad boys are expensive!
- We really hope you're a good breastfeeder, because formula is ridiculously expensive.
- I can't believe how big you supposedly are right now. I still imagine you as a tiny little fetus sometimes. Your dad says he always pictures you as a toddler. I can't wait for you to be a toddler!
- Everybody loves you. You have no idea how loved you already are. At Christmas, your Chico family talked about you like you were already here. You will always have a lot of family, and I hope you grow up to love and appreciate them, because family is everything. Family is where it's at, little dude.
- (P.S. We really hope you are actually a boy.) (But we'll love you just the same if you turn out a lady.)
- I'm starting to get nervous about labor and delivery. My plan is for a drug-induced mostly painless experience, but I'm trying to prepare myself for when things don't go to plan. Just as long as we're healthy.
Well, I think that's a pretty exhaustive list. I want to remember everything. I'm so grateful to have had such an easy, smooth pregnancy so far; I know a lot of women don't get that blessing so I know I'm lucky. I'm also grateful for my totally easy-going husband, who has not freaked out even once and probably won't ever, who is happy and excited about being a dad, and who is supportive and sweet and loves my new big boobs. How can a girl be so lucky.
Because, baby, on Monday, I was 27 weeks pregnant with you. And yes, I watch all the baby shows on TLC when I'm at work.
I think to myself a lot these days, "Self, I like it that we're pregnant." I like it a lot. I tell my dear sweet husband how I think I'm going to miss being pregnant - always with the adendum that there's still 3 months to go and maybe I'll eat those words week 39.
Not that I'm not excited for you to be on the outside of my body, so I can see you and hear you and smell you and wrap you in blankets and snuggle with you, because oh my goodness I am! But I really love this time right now when you are closer to me than you ever will be again, and you are more protected than I will ever be able to make you again. I don't see myself as the Mama Bear type - at least not yet - but there is something satisfying about knowing that anything that happens to you must first happen to me.
So here's a few things I want to remember about 27 weeks:
- You move. You roll and nudge and spasm, but it's never frantic. The energy I feel from you is measured, thoughtful, quiet. Like your dad.
- I love feeling you move.
- You love kicking me in the bladder, but only when it's full.
- You stop moving as soon as someone pays attention to you. I don't even know how you know; all I do is look down to where you are, and you stop. I think you like to be alone. You are also like your dad in this.
- We have the most fun when we get to watch you push against the outside of my tummy, like an alien.
- I have the worst heartburn of my life.
- And back pain.
- I had a dream the other night that I gave birth to you, and you had a gigantic head, but the delivery was so easy. I didn't even push. I know it's not going to be like that, but it was a nice dream.
- But seriously, the dreams! I have the weirdest dreams now.
- I'm worried I'm ruining you for healthy food because all I want is sugar. I try to eat the good stuff too, but I can't stop thinking about glazed donuts.
- Our doctor visits are always smooth and perfect. I impress the midwife very much with my blood pressure, on account of all the approvingly raised eyebrows I get every time she takes it. You are measuring perfectly. I've gained 15 pounds.
- Grandma C got you your first toy: a stuffed giraffe that plays the ABCs, and I held it to my belly and you squirmed a little.
- Lately sometimes the first thing your dad says when he sees me after work is "Hey there prego!" which means I'm looking especially pregnant that day. It feels good to finally be obviously pregnant. No belly rubs from strangers yet, though (thankfully.)
- I just found out that I'm going to have to take more of an unpaid maternity leave than I was expecting, which was stressful. But there hasn't been too much stress otherwise. I'm trying to keep things pretty chill for you.
- Your cousin Ryan was born a few days ago. I hope you guys will be buds.
- I hope you like your room. It's very peaceful in there since we painted it, and sometimes I just stand in the middle of it with the light streaming in from the windows and feel calm and imagine everything ready for you. (The house is so not ready for you yet!)
- Dad and I talk about you all the time. We worry that you won't like us. We think it will be weird to have someone call us Mom and Dad, eventually. We know it will be stressful and exhausting having a baby waking us up all night, but I don't think we think about it too much because we know it will be unlike anything we expect anyway.
- We bought our first pack of diapers last week. Those bad boys are expensive!
- We really hope you're a good breastfeeder, because formula is ridiculously expensive.
- I can't believe how big you supposedly are right now. I still imagine you as a tiny little fetus sometimes. Your dad says he always pictures you as a toddler. I can't wait for you to be a toddler!
- Everybody loves you. You have no idea how loved you already are. At Christmas, your Chico family talked about you like you were already here. You will always have a lot of family, and I hope you grow up to love and appreciate them, because family is everything. Family is where it's at, little dude.
- (P.S. We really hope you are actually a boy.) (But we'll love you just the same if you turn out a lady.)
- I'm starting to get nervous about labor and delivery. My plan is for a drug-induced mostly painless experience, but I'm trying to prepare myself for when things don't go to plan. Just as long as we're healthy.
Well, I think that's a pretty exhaustive list. I want to remember everything. I'm so grateful to have had such an easy, smooth pregnancy so far; I know a lot of women don't get that blessing so I know I'm lucky. I'm also grateful for my totally easy-going husband, who has not freaked out even once and probably won't ever, who is happy and excited about being a dad, and who is supportive and sweet and loves my new big boobs. How can a girl be so lucky.
Tuesday, January 17, 2012
"Modest is hottest" makes me want to grind my teeth
For me, the desire to dress modestly is based on spiritual beliefs, reinforced by experience and personal preference. I'm just not comfortable with everyone seeing my ta-tas, right? But how frustrating is it to find cool modest fashion without stumbling into varying pitfalls. The bare minimum of modesty can be boring, so there's a trend to overcompensate by piling on details until peoples eyes want to explode. Here in Utah, at least, there's an insane trend for ruffles and big, oversized flowers and loads of jewelery, and junk like that just doesn't fly with me. I'm a simple girl. And the middle ground is a hazy land. Then of course there's the plain temptation of cute clothes that are not modest. I have the frustrating problem of wanting what I can't have, so on the days that I'm sick of my jeans those short shorts look pretty nice; and who isn't DYING for a tank top in summer? So the need for creativity is always there, and it's not always easy. (It's definitely easier in winter, when layers are everybody's best friend.)
And also, how hard is it to dress a pregnant body without having to buy a whole new wardrobe, emmirite?
But that's not the point. The point is that I was browsing Pinterest and found this clothing company that seems to have addressed the issue of creative, simple modesty, without going too over-the-top for my taste. I haven't bought or tried any of their clothes so I can't really say how well it works, but the pictures look nice, don't they?
The website is Mikarose, and when most of their dresses are only $50, I do hope some of you will try them out and tell me how they are. (Or if you already have, please leave me some feedback!) I am forcibly stopping myself from looking at the site any further because really. But I'll bookmark it and when this babe is out of my bod, maybe I'll need to go shopping.
*Edit*
5 seconds after pushing "publish" I noticed the Accessories tab on their website. And lo, there were the gigantic fabric flowers, begging to dominate whatever poor body they were wrapped around. And then I clicked on the Contact button and saw the company is based out of Provo, so it all makes sense now. Oh well, I still think their dresses are cute.
And also, how hard is it to dress a pregnant body without having to buy a whole new wardrobe, emmirite?
But that's not the point. The point is that I was browsing Pinterest and found this clothing company that seems to have addressed the issue of creative, simple modesty, without going too over-the-top for my taste. I haven't bought or tried any of their clothes so I can't really say how well it works, but the pictures look nice, don't they?
The website is Mikarose, and when most of their dresses are only $50, I do hope some of you will try them out and tell me how they are. (Or if you already have, please leave me some feedback!) I am forcibly stopping myself from looking at the site any further because really. But I'll bookmark it and when this babe is out of my bod, maybe I'll need to go shopping.
*Edit*
5 seconds after pushing "publish" I noticed the Accessories tab on their website. And lo, there were the gigantic fabric flowers, begging to dominate whatever poor body they were wrapped around. And then I clicked on the Contact button and saw the company is based out of Provo, so it all makes sense now. Oh well, I still think their dresses are cute.
Friday, January 13, 2012
The first step is the hardest
Man, what an inspirational title.
But it's true. These days, now that I have a computer again and want to get back in the game, I almost panic when I think about writing a blog post. I think it's stage fright. Doubts fill my mind, I'm pretty sure I have nothing to say, all the things I do want to say are posts that require more effort than I'm willing to commit to putting forth at the moment. Or I want to include pictures, but getting pictures from the camera to the laptop is a bit kerjugglish at the moment. Mostly though I just want everyone to think I'm super cool and I don't want to write a post if I know I'm not going to be able to pull it off, which, as I'm learning, is how I feel almost every time the thought "write a blog post" crosses my mind. Being honest is super cool, right? Right, guys?
Anyway, this is not meant to be this kind of post. It is meant to be a "just friggin' write something" post to get past this stage fright business. Because I'm learning that that's what I want blogging to be to me; a writing outlet. And I want to be super cool too.
So in prep for this baby to move in with us in a few months, we've been painting the walls in his room. Have I told you how ugly the walls in our house are currently painted? I know I have, but it bears repeating. Cause they are ugly. And every wall and every ceiling until we painted the bathroom were the exact same color.
That picture is from before we moved in. Please don't be fooled - it's a really ugly color in person, especially when the sun isn't shining gloriously.
Anyway, so, we've been painting. The colors I chose for baby's walls are white and dark grey. DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK. I know that sounds bland, but the plans I have beyond the wall color are glorious, and I'll prove it to you. Eventually. (You can check out my inspiration Pinterest board I've been curating, though, for a very general idea. Click here.) The point is, I just got done putting the first coat of grey on the last wall and my heart is about to burst because I think it looks so good. This is one of those times when I really want to show you the picture I just took but I'm too lazy to hassle with it right now. Sorry, I guess. (Lazy.)
I don't know if this is a nesting thing or not, but all I can think of is home improvement and decorating crap. I don't think I've ever been this motivated to get junk done before in my life. Painting has taken all week because I've only got time to do one coat every day after work, and my pregnantly-aggravated back feels like absolute murder when I'm done with one coat but I still can't wait to get home so I can do it. I just want it done. I want things to finally look good.
Speaking of which, how cute is this painted rug project? It's next on my list.
But it's true. These days, now that I have a computer again and want to get back in the game, I almost panic when I think about writing a blog post. I think it's stage fright. Doubts fill my mind, I'm pretty sure I have nothing to say, all the things I do want to say are posts that require more effort than I'm willing to commit to putting forth at the moment. Or I want to include pictures, but getting pictures from the camera to the laptop is a bit kerjugglish at the moment. Mostly though I just want everyone to think I'm super cool and I don't want to write a post if I know I'm not going to be able to pull it off, which, as I'm learning, is how I feel almost every time the thought "write a blog post" crosses my mind. Being honest is super cool, right? Right, guys?
Anyway, this is not meant to be this kind of post. It is meant to be a "just friggin' write something" post to get past this stage fright business. Because I'm learning that that's what I want blogging to be to me; a writing outlet. And I want to be super cool too.
So in prep for this baby to move in with us in a few months, we've been painting the walls in his room. Have I told you how ugly the walls in our house are currently painted? I know I have, but it bears repeating. Cause they are ugly. And every wall and every ceiling until we painted the bathroom were the exact same color.
That picture is from before we moved in. Please don't be fooled - it's a really ugly color in person, especially when the sun isn't shining gloriously.
Anyway, so, we've been painting. The colors I chose for baby's walls are white and dark grey. DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK. I know that sounds bland, but the plans I have beyond the wall color are glorious, and I'll prove it to you. Eventually. (You can check out my inspiration Pinterest board I've been curating, though, for a very general idea. Click here.) The point is, I just got done putting the first coat of grey on the last wall and my heart is about to burst because I think it looks so good. This is one of those times when I really want to show you the picture I just took but I'm too lazy to hassle with it right now. Sorry, I guess. (Lazy.)
I don't know if this is a nesting thing or not, but all I can think of is home improvement and decorating crap. I don't think I've ever been this motivated to get junk done before in my life. Painting has taken all week because I've only got time to do one coat every day after work, and my pregnantly-aggravated back feels like absolute murder when I'm done with one coat but I still can't wait to get home so I can do it. I just want it done. I want things to finally look good.
Speaking of which, how cute is this painted rug project? It's next on my list.
Tutorial found here.
I might want to do one in a pale, faded orange for the kid's room. I have plans to make that project it's own post when I do it, so we can talk about how surprised I am that I want to own chevron anything then.
So...yeah. Loveyoubye.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
Cute vs Functional?
It's 7 in the morning, I'm having my wake-up cup of hot chocolate (which is not a thing, but maybe I should make it so?), and I am a picky person. We bought a crib yesterday which is our first piece of baby furniture IN OUR LIVES and I'm going to buy some paint for the room this afternoon -- I think they call this "nesting". I'm interested in decorating for baby, is what I'm saying. But I want it to be my kind of cute. This is hard for me, because I have trouble with the gaping rift that often lies between "cute" and "useful", which usually bullies me into a stalemate with myself. I want things to look good but be functional, when I really sit down and think about it. Usually when I'm the one shelling out the money.
Especially since we're having a boy. The boys in my life have not generally been "excess frilliness" types of boys. Boys tend to be more practical, which is something I value because I need their practicality so desperately to balance me out sometimes. I don't want a lot of unused, meaningless crap around to bog down my little dude...but I am still me, and I still want his space (and mine) to be pleasing, inviting, and friggin' cute.
Here is something cute, something functional, and something I might actually buy him:
Anyway. It's 7:30 in the morning and now all I want to do is look at cute baby things. If you run across cute baby things in your day, please don't hesitate to send a link my way. Here is what I have so far as to baby things:
Plus clothes. This kid probably already has more clothes than I do (thank you grandmas!)
You all have a lovely day. I am going to binge.
Especially since we're having a boy. The boys in my life have not generally been "excess frilliness" types of boys. Boys tend to be more practical, which is something I value because I need their practicality so desperately to balance me out sometimes. I don't want a lot of unused, meaningless crap around to bog down my little dude...but I am still me, and I still want his space (and mine) to be pleasing, inviting, and friggin' cute.
Here is something cute, something functional, and something I might actually buy him:
What will be the baby room, which has up til now been our dump everything room.
$40!
You all have a lovely day. I am going to binge.
Wednesday, January 4, 2012
spread the love // design is mine
Just a quick post to share a sweet blog I just discovered.
Design Is Mine is a rich and delicious pool of inspiration. The owner is Summer Allen, and you should pay her a visit if you like things like these:
I love a good design inspiration blog. After like 10 seconds of browsing I saw at least three things I want to try in my home. If you're like me, you will too.
I love a good design inspiration blog. After like 10 seconds of browsing I saw at least three things I want to try in my home. If you're like me, you will too.
And we're back.
You guys! I have a computer again! I am officially ditching the smartphone because the small screen and I are not best buds. I also hate that smartphones are just so accessible. I find myself using it but not really doing anything, just cause it was sitting there, and then I keep sitting there wasting time on it. And I hate it when people throw around conditions they probably don't have, like dyslexia or ADD or carpal tunnel, but I'm pretty sure I'm developing carpal tunnel.
So the long and short of it is that Tony found a great deal on a used Macbook and we had some Christmas cash and now I can blog again! It feels like it's time for a blog makeover so maybe that will come soon.
And I have an announcement that probably all of the people who care who read this blog already know about, but I still feel like announcing it. Mostly cause I've been blog-MIA through all the exciting parts so far.
So...
And the elastic on this dress is way too tight, I'm learning. Haven't worn it in a while.
I don't know if the people who see things I say on Facebook and Twitter and real life are sick of hearing about my pregnancy or not (I try to not be overwhelming), but I am so excited about and so loving being pregnant, and the impending child. We weren't actively trying to get pregnant, so at first I was surprised and uncertain. But now it and donuts are all I think about. Also, it's a boy.
So I'm going to start getting to work on a fresh new layout and junk. Happy New Year you crazy kids.
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