Monday, November 26, 2007

le deuce!

the thing i love most about being in college and not in highschool is that i don't have to actually go to class. and i have a car. and friends. but that's beside the point.

we got home from las vegas at about midnight last night and spent another half hour unloading the car and then i spent about another half hour sitting on my floor doing absolutely nothing but enjoying the fact that i was no longer in the car, driving. sometimes complete stillness is the best movement. while i was sitting there re-centering myself, i decided it would probably be a good idea to check and see if i have any homework due soon. so i reach for my trusty school notebook and open up to my first class tomorrow and discover much to my delight that yes, i do have homework due soon. in the morning, in fact. this discovery makes my brain shut down and i lose consciousness.

morning comes, robed in a blanket of bitter cold, which i always take as a sign that it's okay to stay in bed a little longer after my alarm goes off. (can you blame me? i mean, what better way to inform someone that the conditions beyond the bedframe are hazardous to their well-being and that they should remain beneath the covers than to throw a layer of frost down on the carpet? i listen to what i'm told.) anyway, yadda yadda yadda, forty minutes later i fully wake up and resolve to start and finish that project that's due. it won't really matter if i miss the class, as long as i turn the project in by the end of the day. hopefully. so i scramble to take some photographs and acquire some photo paper and set up my printer and cut mat without a mat cutter and shlikt* the sloppy-but-finished project off to school. in truth, it went pretty smoothly -- save the twenty minutes i had to wait for a lehi officer to come open my door because i locked the keys in my truck while getting gas. *chuckle* oh, i just do this kind of stuff for fun.

(that whole waiting for a lehi officer for twenty minutes thing is a joke, by the way, or should be. i know full well that there are at least 6 million lehi officers parked on every side street with nothing better to do than give people speeding tickets, so why it should take 8 years to rescue a poor girl who locked her jacket in the car as well as her keys is a freaking mystery.)

anyway, that's the manner in which my day has gone down so far. i have to go to work in half an hour which means i won't shower because i used that time to write this blog, so rest assured that at least my priorities are entirely in order.

*shlikt is a word my sister-in-law jodi and i once saw in a comic book to describe the sound of a scimitar cutting through kobold flesh, but we thought it should have other uses. basically it means whatever we want it to.

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

i carry cap guns in my purse

i do. i think halloween is a fantastic holiday because it gives me an excuse to spend money on fake pirate pistols and lacy garters with miniature gun holsters built into them. i'm reminded of this every time i look in my purse to get something and see a gun. because i put it in there and forgot about it. because of course a pirate captain would carry an old navy purse with her to halloween parties; where else would she keep her spare eyepatch and cell phone?

so, this is my blog. welcome to it. before we get into all the great things i have to say about stuff and stuff, i probably need to explain some things.

firstly, don't ask me to explain the title. i simply can't. but isn't it true?

secondly, if you hadn't already noticed, i don't capitalize much. of anything. even ed harris didn't warrant a capitalization of his proper noun-being self. it's nothing personal, and it's not just a long-running typo; it's an artist's quirk, if you will. everyone is allowed at least one of those. (unless you're actually an artist. then you get, like, dozens.)

thricely... uh, i don't really have great things to say about stuff and stuff. maybe occasionally something epiphanesque will jump in and be like "i'm here! i validate this entire blog!" but don't expect it.

and lastly, i make up words.

there you go. :)