On inner beauty and frugal wall art

Sometimes I feel like I never learned how to be a real girl. My beauty routines and decisions are all guesswork, which is kind of exhausting. I've been watching YouTube hair tutorials (don't judge) trying to figure out what I do wrong when curling my hair, and apart from a few useful tips and a lot of self-deprecating introspection, what I've come way with is the powerful feeling that all girls are beautiful. I would never put a video of my mirror face out there because I am not that confident. But the mom and the woman in me wants all the other girls to do it so they can see how lovely and perfect they are, just being so different and themselves and wonderful. And I want everyone to redo high school with new confidence so maybe we can all have a better time there.

This post is brought to you by someone who is having a bad hair day and needed a pep talk.

And also I wanted to show you this. I got the idea fromNat the Fat Rat(I swear I read other blogs too). I think hers are metal. Mine are cardboard spray painted with shiny metal looking paint, and I kind of love them for it. I have them above my couch on a wall with lots of glaring negative space. Someday my house will be completely decorated. And then we'll move.

A rambling on homes and their meaning and so forth.

In which I get a little wordy and meander through some thoughts.  Read at your own interest.

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I am a girl who needs moderation.  Too much of something, I believe, is not a good thing.  In design, in decor, in style, habits, and basically in life altogether.  I've never been the kind of person to be wholly one thing, or do or love only one thing.  My dad once called it being flighty; I call it being well-rounded.

Too much vintage feels stuffy.

Too much modern feels soulless.

Too much sugar feels unhealthy.

Too much health feels boring.

Too much clutter feels heavy.

Too much clean feels overwhelming.

Right now I'm mostly thinking of this in terms of home decorating, because honestly that's what's been on my mind a lot lately.  I've been trying to decide what my style is, who I am as a designer and what I want to say about me and my family and my life through my home.  I change my mind a lot.  On different days I want to say different things - which really doesn't work well for something like a house, where it takes quite a bit of effort, time, and usually money to up and change the mood of a room for a day.  Also, that's silly.

My home is important to me.  It was even before I had one of my own.  I've always known that the concept of "home" was something I valued and I've always wanted mine to be special.  You know, at least to me.  I'm not trying to be super original for the sake of being so; I'm not looking to win blogging or decorating awards or anything like that.  I just want the place where I and the people I love most dwell - the place we all come back to at the end of the day, and the place where our best memories will be made - to be amazing for us.  To be comfortable, and peaceful, and happy, where when we walk in the door we can even let it fade into the background a little because it allows us to focus on really important things, like each other.

This might sound a little strange, but I love the fact that everyone on this earth gets to live their own life.  I love that we're not forced into someone else's formula.  For instance, I love looking at pictures of Elsie's home, but I wouldn't want to live there - it's a little too vintage-ified for my tastes.  And I love basically everything about Ashley Ann's home, but I wouldn't want to live there either.  It's beautiful, but not completely my style.  I'm not ragging on their homes; they are lovely and are, I assume, exactly as their respective residents want them to be.  And that's my point.  I just love that we get to be who we are, like what we like, and live the lives we want to live.

(Maybe I'm really late to this realization and you all are like, "we know, we get it.  What's wrong with you?")

Anyway.  I guess I'm just trying to hash out a philosophy for myself.  Something I want my home to be is balanced.  It's important to me to not get too excited or crazy about one idea or trend that I lose focus on the balance.  (I'm not always good at this - I'm sure Tony could back me up.)  I don't want people to walk into my house and feel overwhelmed by something arbitrary: "Woah, this girl must really like Star Wars."  (Or lace, or blue, or matryoshka dolls, or what have you.)  (Also, parentheses.)  I want them to walk in and think "wow, I feel really good about myself.  I feel like lounging on the couch and hanging out with friends and just being generally really comfortable."

I know I and my house have a long way to go.  But it's good to have a goal, right?  And I'm really glad, if you're reading this, to be able to share my own personal journey with you.  I admit that the whole concept of blogging is still weird and undefined to me sometimes, but I am grateful for the people I've met and friends I've made, and for the help in finding my own voice.  Plus, I like weird things.

THE GREAT PAINTED RUG

This feeling of finishing things I start is way way good.  Like put it in a bowl and pour milk on it and eat it every morning good.

I suckerpunched that painted rug out of the way, and now I'm going to show it to you.

Here's an in-progress shot:

It took way more paint and time than I thought it would, but all told it wasn't very much/long.  Maybe one half to three quarters of that quart of paint, and probably but not quite an hour?  I mean, it was a labor of love, don't get me wrong.  Scooting my fat belly back and forth across that rug got old halfway through, which is why we have this picture at all.

Anecdotal side note: Tony was making mac & cheese while I was painting, and when he came in to check on me he said "It looks like mac & cheese," which it does, and I know that's what I'm going to think of every time I look at it.  Which kind of makes it less charming, in my opinion?

Anyway, here's the finished bedazzling, NOT mac-and-cheesey masterpiece:

 Shazam!

Including this angle so you can see the yellow with the grey wall.  I think it looks smashing.

Including this angle because why the heck not?  Also it's a nice detail shot.  I was nervous going into the actual painting because I wasn't certain the paint wouldn't bleed under the tape, and I was very much not certain it wouldn't look like crap once it was done.  I mean, those lines are not perfectly spaced, people.  So I held my breath when I ripped the first bit of tape off, and lo and behold but I was pleased!  Not only did the lines hold perfectly, but you can't even tell that there is very little precision going on.  (Well, maybe you can, but don't tell me that.  I'm perfectly content seeing what I want to see.)  Even Tony stood back and said "To be honest, I didn't think it was going to work."  Confidence appreciated, sir.

So, some things if I were to do this again, or if I were smarter the first time around:

1. The paint is a little rough to the bare foot.  We're hoping it'll break in with some wear and maybe some vigorous rolling up of the rug, but I suspect if I had mixed in some sort of fabric medium with the paint maybe this wouldn't be a problem?

2. Um...I can't think of any more.  Brain cells, you know.

For those interested, the paint I used was Sun Ray by Behr, in a flat enamel finish.  I didn't want paint with a gloss to it because I thought it would look weird, and the flat enamel is (supposedly) much more durable than straight up flat, which is good because it's a rug and all.

Thursday the man with all the tools mounted my curtain rods, so next on the list is: curtains, and blinds for that one window.

And that's that.

29 WEEKS + STUFF

So this was my belly yesterday.  Note: mirror is still dirty (dad.)  Also, this was me fresh out of the shower without any cute things happening ESPECIALLY a bra.  I considered putting one on and retaking the photo but I was toooo lazy.  Sorry (everyone).

Yesterday was also the day I had an appointment with my midwife, so I got to hear kiddo's heartbeat and they measured my tummy and weighed me and took my blood pressure (but this time there were no approving looks even though my blood pressure is still excellent so it must not be exciting anymore.  Must find new ways to wow the nurses.)  Everything is normal, except the midwife said that the interesting position the baby was in at the ultrasound which I thought was so adorable is actually one of the more difficult breach positions for a baby to get out of.  So last night Tony gave my belly a stern talking to and we're hoping this little buttmunch will turn himself around before they have to cut him out of me.  Kids, she says, with a rueful shake of the head.

In other news, the room is almost (almost!) all painted.  I finally got the baseboards done and now all that's left are the doors and doorjams and maybe I can do the jams tonight.  Jam is a funny word.  But here are some WIP pictures I took before the trim got painted.  There are befores and afters!  The befores are full of me looking stunning in my pjs!  The afters are better!

Before!

 Notice how we had to paint our ceilings.  I cannot stress this enough.  THE CEILINGS ARE THE SAME COLOR AS THE WALLS.  EVERYWHERE!  IN EVERY ROOM!  The rest of the world is not nearly disgusted enough with this as I am.

After!  Only still not finished.

This is a view as you enter from the door.  The wall is so shiny cause I had only just painted it.  For those interested, we did the walls in a satin finish and the trim in semi-gloss.  Can I just say how in love I am with that dark grey accent wall?  There were many doubters on the road to that wall, but I testify they were all converted and now it's a favorite thing to do in our household to stare admiringly at it.  I will never not be amazed at how a change in paint can make all the difference to a thing (or a room).  It's so much brighter and cheerier in there now that the grey/green/brown is gone.  I can't wait to finally start getting things organized and bring in all the other colors I want.  

And I know that this baby doesn't give a darn what his room looks like.  This is all for me.  But my main goal is to create a place that is peaceful where we can all feel comfortable together.  That's my goal for the whole house, and it's been slow in coming, but I think with the grease of our elbows we can pull it off.

But really, I love that wall.  I probably need to buy something sultry to wear to match it.

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The first step is the hardest

Man, what an inspirational title.

But it's true.  These days, now that I have a computer again and want to get back in the game, I almost panic when I think about writing a blog post.  I think it's stage fright.  Doubts fill my mind, I'm pretty sure I have nothing to say, all the things I do want to say are posts that require more effort than I'm willing to commit to putting forth at the moment.  Or I want to include pictures, but getting pictures from the camera to the laptop is a bit kerjugglish at the moment.  Mostly though I just want everyone to think I'm super cool and I don't want to write a post if I know I'm not going to be able to pull it off, which, as I'm learning, is how I feel almost every time the thought "write a blog post" crosses my mind.  Being honest is super cool, right?  Right, guys?

Anyway, this is not meant to be this kind of post.  It is meant to be a "just friggin' write something" post to get past this stage fright business.  Because I'm learning that that's what I want blogging to be to me; a writing outlet.  And I want to be super cool too.

So in prep for this baby to move in with us in a few months, we've been painting the walls in his room.  Have I told you how ugly the walls in our house are currently painted?  I know I have, but it bears repeating.  Cause they are ugly.  And every wall and every ceiling until we painted the bathroom were the exact same color.

That picture is from before we moved in.  Please don't be fooled - it's a really ugly color in person, especially when the sun isn't shining gloriously.

Anyway, so, we've been painting.  The colors I chose for baby's walls are white and dark grey.  DON'T GIVE ME THAT LOOK.  I know that sounds bland, but the plans I have beyond the wall color are glorious, and I'll prove it to you.  Eventually.  (You can check out my inspiration Pinterest board I've been curating, though, for a very general idea.  Click here.)  The point is, I just got done putting the first coat of grey on the last wall and my heart is about to burst because I think it looks so good.  This is one of those times when I really want to show you the picture I just took but I'm too lazy to hassle with it right now.  Sorry, I guess.  (Lazy.)

I don't know if this is a nesting thing or not, but all I can think of is home improvement and decorating crap.  I don't think I've ever been this motivated to get junk done before in my life.  Painting has taken all week because I've only got time to do one coat every day after work, and my pregnantly-aggravated back feels like absolute murder when I'm done with one coat but I still can't wait to get home so I can do it.  I just want it done.  I want things to finally look good.

Speaking of which, how cute is this painted rug project?  It's next on my list.

Tutorial found here.

I might want to do one in a pale, faded orange for the kid's room.  I have plans to make that project it's own post when I do it, so we can talk about how surprised I am that I want to own chevron anything then.

So...yeah.  Loveyoubye.