My name is Kayla, and I'm having a moment where I feel I should be recording my thoughts and what-not via blog post, but I'm almost 100% positive that whatever it is I'll try to say will end up not being said, on account of my brain and things. Sometimes there are just too many words and too many possible sentence variations, which makes me want to give up before I start.
Things I would like to do:
- actually redesign the blog so that it looks good
- post lots and lots of pictures all the time
- write cute little stories about my day
- try yet again to put into words how much I love my son
- maybe a post about my freshly painted living room?
Things that I feel my life has no time for:
- all of the above.
I've been getting the feeling lately, in little sneaky snippets, like fairies peeking through bushes, that I'm living a fantastic life. Fantastically bad, and fantastically wonderful, and all of that all at different times and the same time. Motherhood has magnified it. Did you know that my baby giggled when I made a funny sound at him today? Two and a half months ago he was lying on my stomach taking his first crying breaths, and today he's looking me in the eyes and laughing as we copy each others' sounds. A year ago he was microscopic. If that isn't magical then I don't know what. And my body grew him. God sent me that little spirit, and my body used materials it had on hand (and borrowed from his daddy) and created a tiny little body and grew it big enough until it could handle itself, and now I can hold it in my arms and it smiles at me. IT'S MAGICAL, IS WHAT I'M TRYING TO SAY.
People, for real. Just feel the love with me.
Also, the sweet little lady from Yugoslavia who lives in the house behind us, who sings and yells at her dog every day while she gardens, sent over the fence a cute little outfit for James. How she even knew we had a baby, I don't know. Not only does she know, but she went shopping for him! Who does that?
Life is cool.
(P.S. Anyone know where a girl can get one of those cute Panama-y straw fedoras I'm seeing all the cute people wear these days?)
I don't know anything about the hat you're looking for, but believe me, the photos you post and the comments you make here and on facebook definitely express how much you love your son. You also posts tons of photos on facebook that even my mom and sister in San Jose love to see and are often telling me about. so... you can cross at least two if not three of those things off your list and tell yourself, "good work, Kayla!" And just to add to the fantasticness of your life, it brings me such happines to see you embracing motherhood with everything that is in you. The photos of Tony with James melt my heart and I'm so thrilled to see him build the family he has always wanted.You and Tony are miracles too you know?
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