Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Star Wars: A Rant

So, let's talk about Star Wars.

We have Leia, and we have Han (oh, do we).  And then we have Luke.  Luke, the unlikely hero who goes from Tatooine farm boy to Jedi Hero of the Galaxy in like point five seconds.  (Or several thousand years, depending on what level of nerd you are.)

And the problem I have with Luke is this.  Or maybe the problem I have is with Leia, because do you all remember the scene in Return of the Jedi when in the Ewok village, Luke and Leia are out on the bridge under the moonlight (Death Star-light?) and Luke is gearing up to face his nemesis, Darth Vader aka Dad, and that's when he delivers the blow of a lifetime to Leia by telling her that she is his sister?  And right before then he tells her that should he die or succumb to the dark side, she will be the last, remaining hope for the Rebel Alliance?  And she says "Oh no, Luke, I don't have whatever power you have.  Only you are so great and mighty!"  And he sighs melodramatically and says "I know, right?  I'm such a powerful babe."

Oh wait.  He didn't say that.  Because who the heck is Luke?!

Sure, WE know that he's big business in these movies because thanks to Classical literature we know how to tell who the main hero is.  But to the people in that galaxy far, far away, who is Luke?  A 20-something person who's got some piloting skills.  Okay, so he did blow up the first Death Star.  That obviously earned him some accolades.  And he's got his Jediness, which I guess people are knowing about.  But still.  The only hope for the entire Rebel Alliance, and therefore the galaxy?  Why the hizzle hasn't that boy been promoted to Main Commander of the Whole Star Fleet and Also Everything?

Oh right.  Because he's a farm boy from Tatooine who isn't anybody.  At least not to the majority of the Alliance.  They don't know he's the hidden son of Darth Vader, the second most evil man in the galaxy.  He's just a likeable, talented kid.

I kind of forgot where I was going with this.  I'm re-reading the novels of the films and it's bringing me to all these plot-holes and things, which would disillusion me to the wondrousness that is Star Wars if it were even remotely possible that I could ever be disillusioned to such things.  (Like how much time did it take Han and Leia and co. to reach Bespin anyway??)

So anyway.  Did you know this is my 100th post?  I hope you didn't, because that would be weird, but it is and I guess I had to spend it on Luke Skywalker.  Perhaps it's fitting, because the previous 99 posts were also about absolutely nothing.

Did you know I have a Christmas tree?  Did you know how much I love my Christmas tree?  Because I love it oh so much.  It fills me with warmth and peace and pine-scented happiness.  It is a most full, most magnificent tree, and we got it at the grocery store because the usual tree lot didn't have ANY Christmas trees the day after Thanksgiving, and goshdangit if we didn't need a tree the day after Thanksgiving.

I never know how to end posts, so instead of continuing to ramble, I'll leave  you with this.


  1. This is one of the finest posts on this blog.

    Hilarious and... that's my jam! No joke, I had it for my ringtone for about 6 months!

    You gotsta pull up the music video. It is too good!