I've been thinking lately about good attitudes and staying positive and just how are you supposed to do that. Not that I've been down or sad - I haven't. But there are lots of opportunities to get anxious about things and, having a history of anxiety and depression, I want to do all I can to avoid as many of them as I can. And I'd like to keep doing it on my own, without medication. Not that there's anything wrong with medication. I've used it and it's helped me. But it's been a good long while that I've been anxiety/depression-free without it and I'd like to stay that way, if I'm able. I'm a little concerned about post-partum blues, but so far things have been good.
Anyway, I believe in the power of positive thinking. I believe if you tell yourself you're pretty, you'll feel prettier. And if you tell yourself you're strong, you'll be stronger. And if you tell yourself you're stupid or mean or ugly or that it's going to be a bad day, you're shooting yourself in your proverbial kneecaps. A lot of the time, life is what you make of it. (Don't worry, the cliches don't stop there.) But don't you agree? When I get to thinking about how I'd like this or that about my life to be different (I wish I had curly hair, I wish I was more outgoing, I wish I could be a stay-at-home mom) and feel that silly self-pitying sadness slip its hand in mine, then I think about other people. Everybody knows that other people aren't living their definition of perfect lives either (if you didn't, you do now). We know everyone struggles with something, big or little things and usually both and almost never neither. And yet we all mostly manage to be happy, most of the time. It's a little bit inspiring to know that we are so powerful. That we can be cheerful and satisfied even when our hair isn't curly when really really wish that it was
And so. All of that was me trying to say that on Monday I was stressed and anxious about whether or not this baby has turned around, and whether or not he would stay turned around if he has, and how I would like a doctor to not have to cut him out of me, and that yesterday and today I've told myself that I'm not going to worry about it. And I haven't! Very much.
On another note, I am really bad at Valentine's Day. And Christmas, and birthdays, and any other gift-giving holiday. Tony is really good at all of those. Yesterday he surprised me with these earrings and a box of chocolate.
And how can I not be happy with an amazing Tonyface I love more than blueberry muffins on a sunny morning?